'interesting' times!

so, it's been a year and a half so far!

i haven't been blogging for a while now as i really don't like to moan without purpose and, to be honest, that's about all i've felt like doing recently!

i feel like i've been sick for most of the year - pneumonia, sinus infection, norovirus, kidney infection and for the past two months i've been in and out of hospital (thank heavens for the nhs) with more tests to come.

i'm really not very good at being unwell (but then again, who is?!) and it's been quite a difficult time. i know that there are folk far worse off than me and i am so thankful that we have free healthcare in this country but i have been feeling a little sorry for myself!

oh, yes, and at the end of july i am to be made redundant from the day job.

so, life feels a little up in the air just now.

and while i'm having a whine ... what about this weather?! what happened to summer?!

i'm baaaaaaack

well, i'm finally back on my feet and starting to catch up with life again.

thanks for all of the good wishes i received, much appreciated, and they certainly helped :)

so, i have lots of news to catch up on but one very BIG piece of news which i will share in my next post ...

bleurgh!

so, it's been a bit quiet round here because i've been sick. m shared pneumonia with me and then i ended up with a sinus infection too!!! for the past two and a half weeks it feels like all i have done is sleep and cough. i'm hopefully on the mend now so i'm looking forward to catching up with everyone's blogs soon :)

mr wolf ...

please tell me what time it is?!

in an effort to be organised and thinking it would make it easier for the morning, i put some of the clocks forward last night before going to bed. 

i say some of them because i thought the others changed automatically.

not so.

and some of those i changed already, did change automatically as well.

and i think m may have changed some before going to bed this morning.

so, i have a range of times to choose from ... it's either just gone half nine, half ten, or half eleven!

i should be ...

... felting
... completing my tax return
... ironing
... going into town to get some shopping
... doing much needed housework

but instead i've whiled away a happy hour (or two, well perhaps three) catching up with some of the lovely blogs i like to follow, updating my website, practising with photoshop and generally procrastinating.

better go and do some work so i look busy when m gets up!

bear attack!!!

dangerous man-eating bear spotted in glasgow museum - you have been warned!

thank you

to everyone who commented on my previous post and sent good wishes for my mum :) 

it seems to have done the trick as mum is now out of hospital after a really nasty bout of pneumonia. 

we're hoping mum will be able to travel back to london in the next couple of days so i'll be heading down on the sleeper armed with lots of recipes for warming, healing soups and yummy baking.

thanks also to all of the lovely nursing staff and doctors who took really good care of mum while she was in hospital in stockholm, mum can't speak highly enough of the good care that she received, and i don't just mean the medical attention, the nurses all took time to pop in to spend a little time with mum (she was in isolation and feeling quite scared and lonely) and all patiently spoke in english to my mum and around my mum.  it really helped to make a difference and is much appreciated.

farewell to 2011 and welcome to 2012

well, 2011 was another quick year!

i'm not really in the right frame of mind to do a review of my year just now - mum was taken in to hospital in stockholm yesterday, my brother is with her but it's not the same as being able to see her for myself. for now, i'm not moving far from the phone so my brother can keep me updated.

let's just say that i did some of the things on my list, didn't do others, and even managed to do some things that weren't on it. 

this year, i think i'm going to take a more measured, relaxed approach and just see what happens!

i wish for you and yours a year full of peace, love, hope, good health, happiness and joy, with a lot of creativity thrown in for good measure.

last year we put up lanterns to welcome in the new year and we weren't the only ones - apparently it caused quite a stir on the local ufo-spotting website.

a busy ol' week ...

now i'm starting to realise why the year seems to be passing so quickly! we're always so busy :) not that i'm complaining though!

so far this week we've ...

... launched a book we published ourselves at the international festival at resonate arts house, we also got prints made from the book to display on the walls of the gallery - it was a great night, thanks, as always, to angela's passion and determination. more details to follow, we're trying to figure out the best way to make it available for purchase online.

... spent a day outdoors in a 'secret' location choosing a spot for an installation that i'm working on just now - it'll be part of an amazing festival next year (how excited - and terrified - am i?).

... had an evening of stargazing at our friend's house - they live in the middle of the countryside so it was really dark and the moon was so bright!

... built our first wall(!) at m's new studio - and i'm pleased to report that it's still standing :)

... got ready for a lovely weekend away, i'm taking part in a mixed media and texture workshop with fellow feltmaker angela barrow. plus, as an added bonus, m actually has a weekend off so we're turning it into a long weekend away to explore a new area.

and now i'm getting some bits and bobs finished for my next stall in perth on the 26th november.

plus i worked three days at my day job and started planning the gifts i want to make for christmas ... didn't really leave much time for housework!

well, i hope you're all having a wonderful weekend wherever you are :)

sniffle ...

i have a cold :(

and i have so much i want to do, but i have no energy, i ache from head to toe and i feel a little sorry for myself to be honest!

m has banned me from doing 'anything', he thinks i've been overdoing it recently (which i probably have, but when you're having fun, it doesn't feel like working and then sleep just gets in the way!).

i'm so out of the way of sitting doing nothing, that we've reached a compromise - at least i can catch up on my blog reading and posting!

apologies for the previous rather self-indulgent, whiney post!

'normal' service will be resumed shortly :)

scunnert

is a very descriptive scottish word used to describe a general feeling of boredom and fed-up-ness, when you really just can't be bothered ...

lately, there's never enough hours in the day, it doesn't seem to matter how early i get up, how late i get to bed and how hard i work, i never get to the bottom of that to-do list ... there's the stuff i need to do that never gets finished and then the stuff i want to do that's there's never enough time for.

i know that i have much to be thankful for and i really shouldn't moan but i'm feeling a little scunnert right now.

so, apparently ...

there's a royal wedding happening today ... ?

so far, i've managed to avoid most of the fuss and the hype. don't get me wrong, i wish them only the best in life but it's just not something i can get that excited about.

however, i loved today's post from chrissie at niminyfingers who is passing this on from a facebook friend:

here's how to find out your royal wedding name for the big occasion ...

start with lady (or lord)
pick the name of a grandparent for your first name
use the name of your first pet for your surname
and 'of' should be a street where you lived

i nearly choked on my coffee when i worked out that i would be

lady rose bubbles of hawthorn!!!

but settled for lady rose bubbles of woodside (although i could also have had 'of macclesfield' or 'berkshire' which would have sounded a bit more posh - but not half as funny!)

so, what would your royal wedding name be?

new beginnings

so, for one reason or another, 2010 wasn't really a great year for me. don't want to mump and moan about it, would rather try and learn some lessons and move on to the new year.

i wrote a little while ago about how i struggle with self-discipline and maintaining balance. i'm also giving myself a hard time about not being in the moment enough. this, i think, is why i feel like 2010 has pretty much passed me by.

i feel like i've neglected friends and family, my relationship, our project to become more self-sufficient from the garden, i've probably not slept enough, i've certainly not read enough, we've not been out and about having enough adventures, i kind of lost sight of where i wanted to go creatively, and the housework ... well, that's always a little behind schedule.

but funnily enough, it only just dawned on me the other day that amongst all of this, the one thing that i had really neglected was myself. i've never really seen it from that perspective before! i get so much nourishment (not sure if that's the right word, but hopefully it puts across what i mean) from spending time with the folk i love, from working on our plot, from just hanging out with m, from being me and just playing and having fun.

ah, fun ... that was pretty much missing from the heavy work schedule i had been giving myself. the problem is, i feel guilty if i don't feel like i'm achieving enough in each day, so i give myself a nigh-on impossible to achieve to-do list and then give myself a hard time if i don't complete. or i stay up till all hours to complete and then turn into a tired, grumpy version of me that i really don't like.

aaaanyway, as i said, i'm not going to mump and moan!

so, for this year, i am going to try and look after myself a little better, strive for balance and really work on the self-discipline thing.

i know that what i probably need is a 'routine', but bleurgh to that! i don't work well with routines, they begin to grind me down after a while and something which is supposed to be fun can feel like a chore, plus, m works crazy shifts which are all over the place so i can't really plan too far ahead, perhaps more structure would work better?

to-do lists really do help me though, i find if i sit down at the start of the year and then review it each month, it helps me focus on what i really want to achieve and which direction i want to go. plus, on those days when i feel like i really can't be bothered and don't know what to do with myself, i just need to pick something from the list and i know i'm moving forward (even if i don't feel it at the time!).

so, this is my draft list for the year:

visit family more often.
have days off with m, where we get to just hang out.
spend more time creating with other people.
regularly bake new things.
keep an eye on the foraging season and make elderflower cordial; nettle soup; raspberry coulis; blackberry jam; hawthorn jam; rosehip syrup; sloe gin.
make this the best year yet for home-grown fruit, herbs, veg and flowers.
create a schedule for the housework.
get outside and exercise.
finish off the half-started diy projects around the house.
put time aside to read, without feeling guilty.
create a dye garden and practise with natural dyes.
finish the half-started projects.
use up my materials stash.
learn new techniques.
work on new projects.
practise new techniques and try out new ideas.
keep shops well stocked.
give myself a break from time to time, be kinder to me and remember to have fun!

so, i'm pretty optimistic about all of this, except perhaps the housework part!

what's your resolutions and plans for this new year?

self-discipline

is something i continually struggle with.

i was reading an article online recently and it described self-discipline as the ability to take action despite your emotional state. that, i think, is the thing i struggle most with - emotional state!

if i've had a bad day at the day job, all i want to do is come home, put my pj's on and eat junk food while watching eastenders. which doesn't exactly help me get through the 'to-do list' for the felting side of things. however, if i'm feeling great then i can felt right through the night and only notice the time when it's starting to get light again. i don't seem to have a middle ground, i'm an all or nothing person and need to even that out slightly.

i'm great at putting together lists and planning my time but then it pretty quickly goes out of the window and i get behind. maybe i need to get better at the planning stage? sometimes i wonder if i'm too hard on myself and i should be happy with what i'm acheiving but then i know i want to achieve more and i'm not going to do that if i keep ignoring the schedule i've drawn up.

i'm not sure if i set my goals too low and then don't see it as enough of a challenge or sometimes i set the bar too high and then fall at the first hurdle.

two areas i really need to focus on are looking after myself better and not neglecting friends and family. we had a week's hol recently and i got really sick. i'd been working so hard, staying up late to get things finished before we went away and it had a knock-on effect for my immune system. and my friends and family are being really patient with me but i know i've been neglecting them and that doesn’t make me happy.

i’m finding just now that all i want to do is felt to the exclusion of everything else. the housework doesn’t get done, the gardening doesn’t get done, m gets frustrated as the house disappears under a pile of felt, i get more and more tired …

so, it stops now! i’ve drawn up a schedule which should give me time to felt, time to do the housework, time to work in the garden, time with friends and family and time to get seven hours of sleep each night and also some time for exercise which is sorely lacking at the moment.

i honestly believe that balance is the trick to a happy, healthy life but it’s something i find very hard to maintain. hopefully my daily schedule (sadly, i’ve been influenced by watching too much supernanny!) will help me to achieve that balance, although i fear that the housework will still be the one area that gets neglected!

three weeks of bleurgh :(

well, the past three weeks have passed me by!

flu and a chest infection kept me in bed for a week and then stuck in the house for another two. so, now i'm slightly behind, it was quite bemusing to go out again and see that folk were starting to put up christmas trees and lights, i thought everyone was early this year, until m reminded me that we're nearly into the second week of december.

eeeek, mild panic, i'm slightly behind schedule but so very glad to be back on my feet again!

farewell to our blue doors

well, our old blue doors had to go, they were drafty, not very secure, and almost falling apart but they did protect us from evil spirits (i remember reading somewhere that blue doors were a protection against bad spirits) whereas the new ones will protect us from potential burglyars.