Thursday, June 17


is something i continually struggle with.

i was reading an article online recently and it described self-discipline as the ability to take action despite your emotional state. that, i think, is the thing i struggle most with - emotional state!

if i've had a bad day at the day job, all i want to do is come home, put my pj's on and eat junk food while watching eastenders. which doesn't exactly help me get through the 'to-do list' for the felting side of things. however, if i'm feeling great then i can felt right through the night and only notice the time when it's starting to get light again. i don't seem to have a middle ground, i'm an all or nothing person and need to even that out slightly.

i'm great at putting together lists and planning my time but then it pretty quickly goes out of the window and i get behind. maybe i need to get better at the planning stage? sometimes i wonder if i'm too hard on myself and i should be happy with what i'm acheiving but then i know i want to achieve more and i'm not going to do that if i keep ignoring the schedule i've drawn up.

i'm not sure if i set my goals too low and then don't see it as enough of a challenge or sometimes i set the bar too high and then fall at the first hurdle.

two areas i really need to focus on are looking after myself better and not neglecting friends and family. we had a week's hol recently and i got really sick. i'd been working so hard, staying up late to get things finished before we went away and it had a knock-on effect for my immune system. and my friends and family are being really patient with me but i know i've been neglecting them and that doesn’t make me happy.

i’m finding just now that all i want to do is felt to the exclusion of everything else. the housework doesn’t get done, the gardening doesn’t get done, m gets frustrated as the house disappears under a pile of felt, i get more and more tired …

so, it stops now! i’ve drawn up a schedule which should give me time to felt, time to do the housework, time to work in the garden, time with friends and family and time to get seven hours of sleep each night and also some time for exercise which is sorely lacking at the moment.

i honestly believe that balance is the trick to a happy, healthy life but it’s something i find very hard to maintain. hopefully my daily schedule (sadly, i’ve been influenced by watching too much supernanny!) will help me to achieve that balance, although i fear that the housework will still be the one area that gets neglected!


Aileen Clarke Crafts said...

Awww Tracey, big hug : ) I know how you feel. I find scheduling a wee bit frustrating in that during time I've scheduled for one thing I may find I'm in the mood to do something else. Don't be too hard on yourself. What I have discovered is that it's amazing how much house work can be achieved in just 15 minutes! My son has been getting up earlier this month in readiness for starting high school next term and I find I have been up and dressed and ready that wee bit earlier too. I can get washing hung out, dishes done and the kitchen floor swept before I even go out on a day. If I'm having a making day, I will make until the very last minute then do a mad tidy, wash up yet more dishes and make the tea in time for David getting home and he will be blissfully unaware of what the place looked like 45 minutes before! hahaha. Obviously I have kids that I can blame mess on too ; )
I have a few deadlines to work to and at the moment but have no drive. Hoping to make some felt backgrounds today so that I can add the details whenever I have time.
Thinking of you. Hope you can find a good balance. Lots of love, Aileen. xx

Felted House said...

I do so relate to a lot of what you say. I am so very affected by my emotional state - of course office work and essentials like cooking have to be done but being creative is another matter! I've struggled recently with anxiety and feeling low and have had to really force myself to make, and I've been so slow - the felting has taken about twice as long as normal! But then we're emotional creatures, of course our moods transfer into our work and I guess that's the way it should be, it makes our work real and part of us. Your plan of balance sounds just great, I'm a bit all-or-nothing with the felting too and really regretted it this spring when the garden had been so neglected, so I'm trying to do a bit of housework and gardening each day and keep on top of the main rooms downstairs so I'm not embarrassed to welcome visitors! And then I'm trying to do a little felt each day too. I'm a bit jealous of your ability to felt through the night, I just get too tired! But then as you say, we need rest too. I really hope your schedule makes a big difference, and I'll try to stick more to my mental plan of balance too! xx

narkeymarkey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
narkeymarkey said...

thanks aileen, think i was needing that hug :) thanks also for your response which means a lot to me. i think you’ve hit the nail on the head – it’s one thing to schedule a to-do list but it’s another to be in the mood to do it! s’pose that, as long as i’m doing something, i shouldn’t be too hard on myself? i did have a smile at the rushing about trying to tidy up before hubby comes home – i do exactly the same! got caught out once though when m came home from work early! hope you got your backgrounds made? hope your drive has returned too and you’ve met your deadlines, thanks again hon, love and hugs tracex

narkeymarkey said...

thanks so much for your comments too FH, i guess i hadn't really considered the emotional connection with creativity, maybe it's better to accept that my moods will go up and down and to work with that rather than try to force myself to do something i'm not in the right frame of mind for? :)x

narkeymarkey said...

p.s. i also really identify with battling feelings of embarrassment surrounding the garden/housework/visitors. if i know someone is coming i try to tidy the rooms i know they'll be in and if the door goes when i'm not expecting anyone - i don't answer it!!!